Hosting Obama, ‘Between Two Ferns’ Star Pulls No Punches

Trying to explain why young people should buy health insurance, President Obama said his health care plan would cost consumers no more than their cellphone bills. His host, Zach Galifianakis, looked bored. “Is this what they mean by drones?”

When Mr. Obama appeared on the popular online comedy show “Between Two Ferns” on Tuesday, the question wasn’t whether the president could hold his own — he has already proved that he can keep up with pop culture.

Fans of “Between Two Ferns,” a mock celebrity interview show on the comedy website Funny or Die.com, mostly wanted to see if the show’s star, Mr. Galifianakis, would treat the president as rudely as he treats his other guests.

He did.

With a straight face, Mr. Galifianakis asked Mr. Obama whether “Ambassador Rodman” had gone to North Korea on his behalf, and if he would now send Hulk Hogan to Syria — or, he asked, “is that more of a job for Tonya Harding?”

Mr. Obama played along, muttering, “Zach, he’s not our ambassador.”

“Between Two Ferns” is a sendup of public-access shows, with tinny music and misspelled captions, and the humor is webcam deadpan: Mr. Galifianakis solemnly asks inane or cringingly rude questions that guests deflect with varying degrees of awkward silence. (He once asked a stone-faced Natalie Portman: “You shaved your head for ‘V for Vendetta.’ Did you also shave your V for vagina?”)

More than any other president, Mr. Obama surfs the media, looking for new ways to reach viewers who don’t watch the news or even television. The president doesn’t seem worried about tarnishing the dignity of his office. As his tenure nears its end, he seems more intent on being the salesman in chief.

Mr. Galifianakis seemed most intent on not giving his special guest special treatment. It wasn’t until the end that Mr. Obama finally got what he had gone on the show for, a nonsatirical plug for healthcare.gov. That web address was flashed after the credits for “Between Two Ferns” had rolled, as if to maintain some distance: Comedians, it seems, take their integrity more seriously than presidents.

But Mr. Obama is competitive, and he certainly has comedy show experience. He has “slow-jammed” the news with Jimmy Fallon, traded barbs with Stephen Colbert and answered questions from the basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley.

Mr. Obama fell out of character only once. Mr. Galifianakis didn’t answer his question about the annual turkey pardon and instead stared back at him so balefully that Mr. Obama cracked a smile.

Mostly, the president tried to keep up with his host by putting him down — for example, making fun of his flop sequel, “Hangover 3” — and that was not quite as funny as his silences.

When Mr. Galifianakis suggested that if Mr. Obama had a son, he would probably be a nerd like his father, Mr. Obama took mock umbrage that sounded like a “Tonight” show joke, not web satire. “Do you think a woman like Michelle Obama would marry a nerd?” he asked indignantly. His host asked if he could speak to the first lady and Mr. Obama replied, “I’m not going to let her near you.”

Still, it took confidence to take his message to such an unwelcoming arena. The caption under his name described him as “community organizer.” His host asked if he would put his presidential library in Hawaii or his “home country of Kenya.”

When it came time for Mr. Obama to discuss health care, Mr. Galifianakis sighed wearily. “Here we go, O.K., let’s get this out of the way, what did you come here to plug?” When Mr. Obama asked him if he had heard of affordable health care, Mr. Galifianakis replied, “That’s the thing that doesn’t work?”

The show dutifully flashed on screen the 800 number that callers can use to sign up for health care, only the number was spelled out: “one eight hundred three one eight two five nine six.”

At the opening, Mr. Galifianakis shuffled his notes and while pretending to be speaking to the president before the show officially began, mumbled, “Sorry I had to cancel a few times.”

(By midday, the six-and-a-half-minute video had been seen 1.9 million times, according to the site.)

The interview looked as if it had been filmed in the “Between Two Ferns” no-frills studio. At the end, Mr. Obama pushed a button, and the black backdrop fell, revealing that the interview had actually been recorded in the White House. Even those intimidating surroundings didn’t daunt Mr. Galifianakis. He asked Mr. Obama, “What is it like to be the last black president?”

Mr. Obama countered: “Seriously? What’s it like for this to be the last time you ever talk to a president?” But that’s not likely.

Mr. Obama set a precedent, but so did his host.

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Family Friendly Paradise in Fiji

Travel writer Fiona Harper discovers one of her all-time favourite hotel rooms and more at the Jean-Michel Cousteau Resort in Fiji. 

“Sorry I’m late, I fell asleep on the massage table.” It’s not a bad excuse is it? Slick with scented Pure Fijian body oil and looking slightly unkempt thanks to ‘spa hair’, I’ve kept my fellow passengers waiting for our jaunt to Nakawaga rainforest and waterfall.

Lulled to sleep post massage, in true ‘Fiji time’ therapist Selai allowed me to slumber on for 35 minutes before I woke myself embarrassingly by snoring. It’s usual for the masseuse to give a gentle yet firm shake a few minutes after a massage is complete. But not today. Which sort of sums up the attitude of many Fijians whose mantra seems to be ‘take your time’, reflecting their warm generous nature, where nothing is rushed, knowing that everything happens eventually.

This attitude is in abundance, in the nicest possible way, at Jean-Michel Cousteau Resort, a few minutes from downtown Savusavu on the island of Vanua Levu. A serious contender for one of the finest family friendly resorts on the planet, every child is allocated their own private nanny upon arrival. Predominantly women (though I’m sure a male nanny would be available if requested – nothing is too much trouble at JMC), their orange and blue shirts are spotted everywhere. Each has a young child in their arms, riding their backs, walking hand in hand or poking around the shallows on the beach. It’s hands on, interactive child minding with a subtle environmental educational approach, that enables parents to share adult time with eachother, rekindling romance or allowing time to talk uninterrupted, knowing their kids are in the very best hands.

While many Kids Clubs are tacked on as an afterthought at JMC, the Bula Club is one of its main features, taking up a good portion of the vast landscaped grounds. With its own commercial kitchen, swimming pool, waterslide, tree house (which looks like so much fun I’m tempted to climb into it myself), miniature tennis court, table tennis table, crèche, quiet areas and noisy areas, it’s the key to extraordinary repeat guest numbers. Indeed, some families have been spending annual holidays here for years. Beyond the kid’s facilities, the attraction for adults is equally enticing, combining luxurious bures, fine food, child-free serenity zones, activities aplenty or peaceful daybeds for doing absolutely nothing. Designed on a traditional Fijian village, it’s a winning combination that ensures JMC appears on ‘best of’ lists worldwide.

In a crowded field of would be contenders there’s a plethora of resorts laying claim to offering the very best hotel rooms, service and facilities. But what qualifies as ‘best’? And who is qualified to make this claim anyway? Sure there are strict criteria when it comes to hotel star ratings that determine whether a property rates (and retains) its coveted five stars or is relegated lesser status. But a star rating is not necessarily the best indicator.

So, while any ‘best’ assessment or list is subjective, I’m prepared to risk the wrath of more worldly travellers and place The Villa (or simply Bure 25) at Jean Michel Cousteau Resort Fiji in my list of Best Hotel Rooms. Why?

Firstly, for the rather unsexy reasons of an abundance of natural light and ventilation – an absolute essential in the tropics. I have a love/hate relationship with air conditioning, preferring the sensation and aromas of tropic-infused air wafting over warm bare skin. Feeling cold is not a sensation I embrace whilst in the tropics. Banks of timber louvers fitted with insect screens keep the bugs out and the breeze in. A shower with double overhead roses has a glass sliding wall opening onto another one outdoors (there are actually four showers in The Villa, because one is rarely enough right?). The bathroom is palatial with a glass wall beyond the stone hot tub that looks into a high-walled garden courtyard with waterfall.

Secondly, space. There’s plenty of it. A master bedroom is dominated by a muslin curtained four poster bed. Slide back the louver doors to welcome the south easterly trade winds and enjoy the view across the deck, raised day bed and horizon edge private plunge pool which in turn flows onto grass, a beach and the ocean beyond. So much space.

Other reasons I rate The Villa highly include a pavilion living room with mini kitchen, linked to the bedroom by undercover dining area, which doubles as another bedroom with its own bathroom. There’s a full sized fridge to store fresh fruit snaffled from the organic garden nearby.

Did I mention the swimming pool? Located on the point, and therefore some distance from the main pool and restaurant area, The Villa is the only bure with its own private pool.

If your budget is a little more modest, ocean front bures, both one and two bedroom are spacious, beautifully appointed and oh so romantic. I particularly like Bure 24’s layout and island view, though another repeat offender swears by Bure 5. Limited to 25 bures, there are actually no bad ones.

But the main reason I rate JMC so highly is for the intangibles. With a strong environmental focus, a team of warm, hospitable staff and an ethos of sustainable tourism that supports the local community, JMC offers a holiday with heart. The place just has a good soul – you can feel it. Much like Fiji itself.

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4 Topics Ripe For Parody In Lena Dunham's 'SNL' Episode

If there were two words to describe Lena Dunham, they would be "funny" and "tough," The 27-year-old actress-writer-showrunner-make-us-feel-bad-about-our-relative-lack-of-achievements-er will take her first spin hosting "Saturday Night Live" this weekend, and we can't wait to see what comes out of it.
The legendary sketch comedy show recently lost head writer Seth Meyers to the wilds of late night talk shows, so we thought we'd provide the writing staff with a few hot tips for Dunham's episode, just in case they're caught scratching their heads for what to write for the "Girls" star. Come on, y'all. There's so much good stuff there.
As for whether Dunham can take the heat of well-meaning mockery, well, anything you can say about her, she's probably already said about herself before.

Pigeon Gate
We'd bet our stylish little salvaged and repurposed buttons that this one'll come up: Remember when Dunham may or may not have had a bird on her head during the photoshoot for her Vogue cover shoot?
We called our psychic to consult, and we're seeing...a raccoon? A nutria? Bobby Moynihan? Perched atop Dunham's noggin. Take that, Jezebel.
Nudity
We saw it once in the promos she did with Kate McKinnon for this weekend's show, and we can pretty much guarantee we'll see it again. ("It," in this case, is boobs.)
Her Shark-Jumping "Star Wars" Tweet
Remember the time Dunham kind of accidentally confirmed co-star Adam Driver's big "Star Wars" casting news via congratulatory tweet? We do! (Also, it was like five minutes ago, so of course we haven't quite forgotten.) In this social media-ified age, there's so much rich opportunity for shark-jumping. Maybe she could somehow jump an actual sea creature with a smartphone? We're not opposed.
"Girls" Think Pieces
Let's not overthink things, shall we? Oh, wait, that's just about all we do when it comes to "Girls." Sometimes, a cupcake shared with a friend in the tub is just a cupcake shared with a friend in a tub, end of story. This is Big L's chance to tell the world. Again.

Lena Dunham hosts "Saturday Night Live" on NBC March 8 at 11:30 p.m.

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LIFE’S CELEBRITIES INSURANCE POLICY

In a Life Insurance policy there is a difference between the insured and the policy holder. Life insurance policies can be taken out on someone else’s life. Sadly there is a clause in Life Insurance policies that states that the person taking out the policy must have an ‘insurable interest’ in the insured. The clause is called the cestui qui vit or CQV and usually means that the person taking the policy out must actually suffer some kind of personal loss in the event of the death of the insured. This generally refers to people such as husbands, wives, parents, children or business partners.

This clause means that one cannot just take out speculative policies on someone they predict will die. Incredibly this is how life insurance began its life. In Victorian England people would take out policies on other people’s lives. They would publish news of deaths in the newspaper and speculators would receive a payout. This practice was later banned as it provided a motive for murder. Shame I say. It sounds like a fun gamble and I can think of a few celebrities that would be worth a punt.

Especially after hearing that TVs Ant and Dec have insured each other’s lives for a reported 2million pounds. Probably not the best punt as I imagine they are the cleanest living people on this planet. Perhaps Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty would be a safer bet. Their reported drug abuse seems to suggest that they are destined to die young and would probably be insurable for far more. So here is my list of celebrities that I would take a punt on presuming the estui qui vit or ‘insurable interest’ clause did not exist.

Cliff Richard

I am convinced Cliff was pickled 30 years ago and is propped up by a team of record industry bigwigs. Technically he is already dead but no-one has allowed a doctor near him to verify it. As soon as they do you could be in for a massive payout because he is worth a lot of money.

Amy Winehouse

I fancy the reports that she is taking inhuman quantities of illegal substances are exaggerated. Nevertheless she is probably worth an outside punt and her youth would probably mean a larger payout.

The Queen

She can’t live forever can she? Although the Queen mum had an incredible run into old age I predict things will be less easy for the Queen; especially with the power hungry Duchess of Cornwall looking over her shoulder. Regicide? You don’t hear that often these days. The value of this policy would be innumerable.

Britney Spears

A long shot but well worth considering. After all it seems she will do anything for a bit of publicity. I would not put death beyond her marketing team. Add to this that she is probably worth billions she could be an excellent investment.

Hugh Hefner

Another one that I think is being propped up by a team of medical professionals. It’s about time that one of those bunny girls finished him off and with a potential payout of millions I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Well worth a gamble.

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CELEBRITIES BODY PART INSURANCE

Although most commonly associated with celebrities, body part insurance can offer crucial financial cover, and protect your livelihood if you rely on a specific part of your body to earn a living. Although uncommon, body part insurance is more popular than you might assume; performers (including musicians, singers and actors) as well as artists, surgeons, athletes and other sports people all commonly require this type of insurance. Body part insurance pays out financial compensation for any accidental damage or disfigurement caused to the insured body part, if the damage results in a loss of work.

From the most ‘normal’ types of body part insurance, such as cover for a model’s limbs, to the more bizarre kinds, including insurance for a sommelier’s taste buds, almost any body part can be insured if it can be proved that loss of use of this body part would lead to significant loss of work and income.

Body part insurance is usually relatively expensive; it is often bought by experts in their field, or celebrities: some of whom even use it as a promotional gimmick. However, it is not only celebrities who may need protection in case of disability or loss of use of a vital limb. Models for example, have a career based almost entirely on appearance, and could lose out on significant income if disability prevented them from winning future contracts. As a result, a model might insure several parts of their body, for example their legs and even their smile. Body part insurance is not designed to insure your whole body: it is intended to cover only select body parts. If you wish to insure your whole body it may be more suitable for you to take out a comprehensive life insurance policy instead.

The 10 biggest insurance policies stars have taken out on their body parts

10. David Lee Roth’s $1million (£670K) sperm

The Van Halen frontman would have surprised no-one if he’d spent money protecting his vocal chords.

But he turned heads in his band’s 80s heyday when he took out a $1million policy on his sperm.

Roth splashed out on his little swimmers to cover himself in the event he impregnated a groupie and, as a result, was hit with an expensive paternity suit.

And, if reports are to be believed, he went on to take full advantage of his cunning scheme – without fear of split condoms…

9. Keith Richards’ $1.6million (£1.1m) hands

In fairness, the Rolling Stones guitarist would definitely be out of a job if he lost his hands.

So it was a shrewd move on his part to protect his chord-playing appendages in the event of a hedge-trimming or tree-felling catastrophe.

The insurance package covers both hands and, when asked about the policy, he waved his arms and said: “These are my business.”

After all, he wouldn’t get much Satisfaction playing a guitar with no hands…

8. Heidi Klum’s $2.2million (£1.5m) legs

It makes sense that the German supermodel would insure the two things that enable her to walk up and down catwalks the world over.

Oddly, one of her pins is insured for $200,000 less than the other due to a scar on her knee.

She told The Sun: “They are different values because I have this little scar.

“I had to be examined in London. A guy came and inspected my leg.”

7. Dolly Parton’s $3.8million (£2.5m) boobs

Without doubt, country queen Parton has become as known for her gargantuan lady mountains as she has her singing voice.

Therefore, it made total sense when she took out a policy on her 40DD assets – realising she wouldn’t be who she is without them.

They were initially insured for $300,000 each but inflation (no pun intended) has caused their value to swell (again, no pun intended).

As well as enriching the pockets of her insurers, her bountiful boobs have helped to make Parton minted…

6. Rod Stewart’s $6million (£4m) voice

The ageing rocker wouldn’t be able to wake up Maggie or say anything to her if he lost his voice.

More importantly, his career as a singer would be over.

He was alerted to the merits of insurance after fearing his voice had been irreparably damaged following throat surgery in 2000.

Stewart is now protected to the cool tune of $6million in case his much-loved raspy vocals do a disappearing act.

5. Tom Jones’s $7million (£4.7m) chest hair

Granted, it’s not unusual to be loved by anyone.

But it’s downright bizarre to put a price tag on one’s bodily follicle growth.

That said, Welsh legend Tom thought his success was as much down to the forest spilling out of his open shirt as it was his warbling tones.

So he paid out on a $7million policy to cover losses of earnings if his chest hair spontaneously combusts…

4. Jennifer Lopez’s $27million (£18.1m) buttocks

J-Lo has made a name for herself as a star of both film and music – but she’s also much-admired for her bulging backside.

Fearing she’ll hit rock bottom if her peachy buttocks abandon her through injury or the merciless perils of nature, the singer/actress made financial arrangements to guarantee she wouldn’t be too down in the dumps if her worst nightmare came true.

Losing one’s bum cheeks isn’t a chief concern of many, but J-Lo clearly values her booty highly.

Well, $27million to be precise.

And the actress admitted she’s contemplating taking out an insurance policy on her famous assets.

While most ordinary folk limit their insurance expenditure to their homes, cars, travel and pets, it’s not uncommon for celebrities to splash out on their body parts.

Swathes of stars protect what they perceive to be the money-making features that, should they ever lose them, will put a huge dent in their earnings.

Hence why the likes of Rihanna and Jamie Lee Curtis took out policies worth $1million (£670,000) and $2.8million (£1.9m), respectively, to safeguard their legs.

The craze was kicked off by Hollywood star Betty Grable, who insured her pins in the 1940s for $1million.

Here’s a top ten rundown of the limbs, appendages, hair and bodily fluids that stars have forked out on – in reverse monetary order.

3. Michael Flatley’s $40million (£26.9m) feet

Irish super-hoofer Flatley would have faced a much greater challenge becoming the Lord Of The Dance without feet.

The 54-year-old has made a career out of his speedy trotters and spent big to ensure he’d live comfortably – financially, at least – should his feet either fall off or stop working.

He’s not the kind of fella hapless female dancers would want to boogie with at a party.

One accidental misstep could cost the dancer his day job and push the perpetrator into bankruptcy…

2. David Beckham’s $70million (£47m) legs

Let’s face it, David Beckham wouldn’t have captained England or won countless accolades with no legs.

The Paris Saint-Germain midfielder took out what is thought to be the largest personal insurance policy in sports history in 2006.

It’s claimed Becks will receive the mammoth pay-out in the event of an injury to his legs, feet or toes that would force him into retirement.

The fact he’s a fan of riding motorbikes must send his premium soaring..

1. Mariah Carey’s $1billion (£670m) legs

The singer stumped up for her stumps after she was awarded Gillette’s Legs Of A Goddess prize.

Winning the award apparently awakened the pop diva to the popularity of her pins, and subsequently insured them for a bonkers $1billion.

Adding to the absurdity, Gillette commemorated Carey’s limbs victory by having a statue of her legs made.

Naturally, she sparked widespread bafflement with her financial arrangement – on the basis she could still shatter glass with her vocals without legs.

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